Sunday, 15 December 2013

Christmas Joke!

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David's Mum sent this joke: Santa's sleigh broke down so he flagged down a passing motorist for help. "But I can't help, Santa - I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist!" "That's OK - you can give me a toe!"

Monday, 2 December 2013

Feet haven't touched the ground for weeks!

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OMG we have painted & decorated, been Christmas shopping in Sheffield (not Meadowhall!), Brigg, Scunthorpe & Grimsby, laid new carpets, bought curtains, had the suite recovered, got a working TV with a MEGA sound system, bought 3 Xmas trees, got the lights up, attended hospital, been to a charity auction, gone to 3 concerts, sold home-knits, home-bakes & bracelets at an Xmas fayre, visited relatives........

Monday, 18 November 2013

Crumble Top Mince Pies

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David has now eaten 2 entire boxes of Turner's famous crumble top mince pies - and its only Nov!

Sunday, 3 November 2013

New Electric Meter at Keelby

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In an effort to cap costs we have a new electric meter at Keelby that can charge different rates for day units and night units. The engineer rang on Thursday pm to say he'd arrive in 5 minutes, but he turned up 3/4 hours later having failed to persuade the Spar shop across the road they had asked for a meter exchange. If only he'd tried harder - Spar could be paying our bill!

Saturday, 26 October 2013


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It may be Hallowe'en, but we are in high spirits here at the Village Stores! We have pumpkins and special sweets on sale - come and grab some as soon as you can! And very soon all our Christmas stock will come out! A very exciting time of the year!

Saturday, 12 October 2013

Brown Cheese

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David tried Norwegian waffles with raspberry jam & sour cream all topped with Norwegian brown cheese. Brown cheese is a bit like fudge: it's made by slowly heating goats' milk whey & cream. It's so rich that when a lorry-load crashed in a tunnel in Norway in January 2013 it burned for 3 days

Friday, 11 October 2013

Great Night with the Harmonettes at Limber Village Hall

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Saturday 9th we had a great night with the Harmonettes at Limber Village Hall. David even got a walk-on part as a teddy boy!

Wednesday, 2 October 2013

Lincolnshire Day 1st October

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1st October was exciting for all the wrong reasons. The telephone landline at Keelby was broken, so no telephone, debit/credit card payments or Health Lottery - & the Vodafone network was off, so you couldn't report the fault. Strangely the broadband WAS working, so we reported the faults using Live-Chat on the appropriate websites. It turns out mice had gnawed through the wires at the local Vodafone mast, & one of the two wires you need for a landline to work had become disconnected at the BT exchange (you only need one wire for broadband). Great fun on Lincolnshire day.

Saturday, 21 September 2013

Cooler weather - Autumn's here!

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Cooler weather, and now we are getting ready for Autumn. Our sacks of prepacked coal have arrived, and we have splendid bags of kindling wood to keep you nice and warm. And much to everyone's horror, Christmas cards have appeared in the shops - David has even sold a 2014 diary already!

Saturday, 14 September 2013

Health Lottery at Keelby and Limber

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We are now signed up for the Health Lottery in both shops - so do drop in and have a go! You may get rich!

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Looking forward to a great Autumn

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Some splendid things are happening this Autumn - Bowjangles are performing at the Keelby Village Hall on September 28th, and on October 5th you can hear Kel Elliott singing and playing the double bass at the Village Hall in Great Limber!

Monday, 2 September 2013

No Sun on Sunday 1st September 2013

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On Sunday 1st September we didn't receive any Sunday Sun newspapers. This was because of problems at the publishers. This was the first time in 13 years that this kind of problem cropped up (though severe winter weather in 2010 also caused problems for a few days). Sorry for any disappointment!

Monday, 19 August 2013

Moustache Gone!

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People were queuing up to tell David his moustache had to go, so it vanished overnight. But nobody noticed! Jayne only noticed after 3 days, and only then when someone in the shop pointed it out to her!!! David is a bit relieved - no more bristles in the rissoles!

Monday, 12 August 2013

Murder Mystery Weekend

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Jayne & David have just been on a murder mystery weekend, which took place on a steam train near Kidderminster. The actors played out a murder while we ate dinner in the dining car - the cast included a very good Hercules Poirot! We didn't guess the culprit, but we did have a great time!

Sunday, 4 August 2013

Detective Joke

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Watson & Holmes are investigating the murder of Juan Carlos, a famous Spanish criminal. "This man was shot with a Golf Gun, Watson!" "Great Scot, Holmes, how do you know that?" "Elementary -  it put a hole in Juan."

Sunday, 28 July 2013

Great Limber Summer Fair

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It's Great Limber's Summer Fair today, so do come down to join in with the fun. Lots of traditional Summer fete games, plus craft stalls & home-made cakes to buy. The BBQ this year should be especially good! See you all there!

Sunday, 21 July 2013

Hot Weather

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The UK is enjoying the hottest, driest July for 7 years, and ice creams and drinks have been selling like, er, hot cakes! But the warm weather has brought problems. In Keelby the 2 big shopfront windows face South West and when the sun streams through in the afternoon the shop gets very hot, even with the blinds down. On Thursday night the stock-room fridge collapsed, so we had to get 2 fridges delivered on Friday just to keep us going. Big thanks to David Bury in Immingham - their fridges saved the day!

Saturday, 13 July 2013

Oh No.....

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Don't laugh - David is attempting to grow a Joseph Stalin moustache ....

Monday, 8 July 2013

Super July Weekend

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This weekend the sun was out & temperatures soared. David donned his new Hawaiian shirt & had a great time at the Winterton Show - then came home to watch Andy Murray win the Wimbledon men's final. very good!

Thursday, 27 June 2013

Overnight Road Resurfacing at Great Limber

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For 3 nights Lincs County Council have closed the A18 through Limber and are resurfacing it. The work is welcome - there were some spectacular pot holes - but it does mean sleeping isn't easy for village folks at the moment. Soon done, though!

Monday, 24 June 2013

2013 Brocklesby Park Show

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Jayne & David went to the 2013 Brocklesby Show on Sunday 23rd June - first time for several years. David had plans to wear his new Hawaiian shirt, shorts & sky blue jacket but the weather was blustery, showery & overcast so he donned his hat & coat instead. A great show, though - looking forward to next year!

Sunday, 16 June 2013

Great Night of Gypsy Jazz at Limber Village Hall

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On Saturday night we enjoyed a great night of gypsy jazz performed by Trio Gitan at the Great Limber Village Hall. True virtuoso performances on the fiddle and guitar - a splendid time was had by all. Well done to everyone.

Sunday, 9 June 2013

Eat Healthy with Village Stores

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We sell brilliant food to keep you fit. Guidelines say, daily, adults need about 2,000 KCals, 90g sugars, 70g fats (only 20g saturated) & 3.6g salt. Eat 5 portions of fruit & veg a day for health, and 2 X 140g portions of fish a week (one of whitefish, one of oily fish). Do a bit of exercise, limit the booze and ban the cigs. and you'll be fighting fit!

Sunday, 2 June 2013

Wouldn't you just know it?

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David put the car in for MOT at the end of May, and even though it's an oldie that does loads of miles, it went sailing through. The next day he took it out to the Folk & Cider festival at Cleethorpes Light Railway and a stone smashed the front headlamp lens. You can't win.

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Nice Nosh

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It's Spring, and we have been trying to get more adventurous with our cooking. This week we have had chicken & pasta in a home-made peseta, bell peppers stuffed with couscous (twice), home-made chicken kebabs, lemon mint & asparagus risotto and (last night) steak with little garlic & rosemary roasted new potatoes and over-roasted fennel in a Nicoise dressing. All made from things we sell in the shops! Good stuff

Saturday, 18 May 2013

Jayne's back home

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Jayne's back home from hospital, but it will be a few days before she's fully back in action. Thanks to everyone for all the well-wishes!

Saturday, 11 May 2013

Jayne Thanks Everyone for Their Well-Wishes!

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Jayne was a bit poorly this week - since the start of January she has been very chesty, and sometimes has struggled to catch her breath (especially at night). On Tuesday morning she was struggling so much we took her to A&E at Grimsby hospital. They admitted her, and found the trouble was due to a build-up of fluid in her lungs. They have given her medicines, and the fluid problem is now under control. We hope to get her back home on Monday 13/05/13 but it will be a little while after that before she is able to work in the shop.

Saturday, 4 May 2013

David's Fingers Go Green!

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David has got hanging baskets to fill with pansies for outside the Limber shop! And Friday saw him digging the stretch of roadside verge that got covered with compost last year. You may remember, a tractor was pulling a trailer full of compost past the shop when the coupling came loose and the trailer overturned, demolishing the crash barrier on the roadside and knocking down a lamp post. The council came to repair the lamp post and barrier, and to smooth out the great pile of compost that was left behind. Over winter that bit of the roadside has remained bare earth, compacted by flooding and the snow. David has bought a packet of grass seed, and hopes that by breaking up the earth he can get it to grow - we shall see!

Sunday, 28 April 2013

It's the start of our new financial year!

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The last Saturday in April marks the end of our financial year, so things are getting busy behind the scenes. We have just moved our payroll onto the new Real Time Reporting regime the tax authorities have set up, and David is just about to get the new year's budget done and do the accounts. We did a full stock take at the end of March to ease the load - we have spreadsheets that will help us "roll forward" the stock figures to the end of April. Still lots of work though - all those hand-written sheets need valuing. Phew!

Monday, 22 April 2013

Turners Sausages go with a bang!

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We are selling more Turner's traditional Lincolnshire sausages than ever before! One chap buys £15 each time. We love them ourselves - Jayne has her own speciality: a "deconstructed" toad in the hole. You'll have to ask her all about it!

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Spring at last!

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Hey folks, the weather has finally warmed up (up to normal, that is!) and our ice-cream chiller has emerged from hibernation. Don't miss the "Gas Band" concert at the Keelby Village Hall on 20th April - it's going to be a grand night!

Saturday, 6 April 2013

Grand National is on Today

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There's no neigh-saying the fact that today Saturday 6th April is Grand National Day. We've been selling loads of racing papers, and folks are running sweepstakes all over the place! Just don't lose your shirts! Best of Luck!

Monday, 1 April 2013

David's special assistant on April 1st

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Easter was early this year - Good Friday fell on March 29th. This meant Easter Monday was also April 1st. On this day David got a special assistant for 1 day only - an Ape called Rilfool, who served on the counter at the Keelby shop until 12.00 midday. Some people think it may just have been David dressed in a gorilla suit....

April 1st 2013

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A new member of staff at Keelby on April 1st 2013

Saturday, 23 March 2013

Great Time at the Limber Village Hall - but more snow!

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We had a great time at the Can You Dig It Show at Limber Village Hall last night - over 70 people enjoyed comedy songs about gardening! Well done to everyone who organised it - we're looking forward to the next events - a quiz night in April and a gypsy jazz evening in June! After a great night out we woke up to MORE snow - there seems to be no end to the cold weather this winter. Spring soon......!

Saturday, 16 March 2013

Looking Forward to Next Friday

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David and Jayne are getting excited about a concert of comedy songs about gardening in Limber Village Hall next Friday (22/03/13 7.30pm)

Saturday, 9 March 2013

Busy Spring!

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Spring is almost here, and although the weather is still cold and wintry things are definitely on the up! Jayne & David went off to see a Gypsy violin concert in Nettleton village hall on March 1st, and enjoyed it enormously! They have taken up ballroom dancing lessons again (in New Holland) after a break of almost 20 years and David has learned to sing Sospan Fach in Welsh, and to play it on the guitar. Mothering Sunday is sandwiched between Valentine's Day and Easter this year, so both shops have been really busy - and the continuing cold weather has kept the coal selling, too!

Saturday, 23 February 2013

Patching up the roads in Limber

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Great news - after all the frost damage the council have been out patching the pot holes in the roads around Limber & Keelby! Well done, lads!

Monday, 18 February 2013


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Well, David cooked American-style pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, with maple syrup and fresh raspberries & blueberries warmed up till the berries just started to pop - they were so good we're having them again NEXT Tuesday, too!

Saturday, 9 February 2013

A Troublesome week!

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The snow has gone, but this week has been a bit of a test! We have 2 morning paper deliverers off sick, the telephone line to the Keelby shop stopped working on Wednesday and had to be replaced on Friday, and on Wednesday afternoon there was a power cut at Great Limber for about 2 hours in the evening! Let’s hope next week is less eventful!

Saturday, 2 February 2013

Keelby Panto a great success!

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David & Jayne went to see the Keelby panto "The Sword in the Stone" during the week and enjoyed it enormously! Well done to all!

Friday, 25 January 2013

David Sings Robbie Burns

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January 25th is Scottish poet Robbie Burn’s birthday, and in the evening Scots enjoy a haggis dinner in his honour. We're celebrating too - David will wear a kilt and play Scottish folk songs while you shop in the Keelby Mace Village Stores on Saturday morning - see you there!

New Inn at Great Limber Gets a Refit

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Exciting news for all of us at Great Limber! A fantastic refit is in progress at the New Inn. We think this will be a great boost for the village - we look forward to the grand re-opening!

Saturday, 19 January 2013

Snow Blows in!

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Well, the forecasters got it right, and we have had about an inch of snow. Let's hope that is all we get this winter! David is practising Scottish songs for the Burns Night event in the Keelby shop next Saturday - but today he woke up with a cough and sore throat! There's plenty of time to get rid of it yet!